How are you?

Okay we haven't talked today. FYI I'm getting worried of you. I really hope you are okay bro.. Take care okay? If ever you read this, I just want you to stay safe okay? You promised me that. Me sleepy na.. k nyt! :) ILYSMF. you know what it means B... una na ako.



#iwontstophoping

This song..

I've been playing this song over and over again in my head for the whole day. This ones for you B. Thank you for this wonderful song Miley Cyrus.

Goodbyes


I can honestly say you've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing

But I remember those simple things
I remember 'til I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye

I woke up this morning and played are song
And throwing my tears, I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
'Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing

But I remember the simple things
I remember 'til I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget

Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ringtone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I'm surprised to hear you say

You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing

You remember the simple things
We talked 'til we cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
Is saying goodbye, saying goodbye
Ooh, goodbye


#iwontstophoping

This says it all.

If we never see each other again, and you’re out walking one day, and you feel a certain presence beside you, that will be me loving you wherever I am.

- Charlie Bellow, My Sassy Girl

The best line ever said in the movie, This brings me to tears every time I watch.

You know I'm always here ...

#iwontstophoping

Its been a day ..

So Its been a day since we talked. I kinda miss him though. but I guess its better this way, I able to focus more on other stuff. But it doesn't mean I don't love him, because I do so much. Things will all fall into place soon, hopefully we'll both be happy in whatever happens. I wanna see where this story ends, because I know its not over yet. I just miss those times when I know he would always be there for me during my ups and downs. I quote: "Some of us are meant to suffer, you know? Some of us are lead to believe that we have this certain destiny and then it just gets snatched away. But we have to stay alive. ‘Cause we have to see how our story ends. – Jordan Roark, My Sassy Girl" This quote comes form my favorite movie. With that said, it made me believe that the story isn't over yet. I won't stop hoping 'til the story ends.

So my effin phone won't work. :( I cant talk to you. shit I miss you already. FUCK :( LOVE YOU BOY. #iwontstophoping

you can calm me down

Yes, you're the only one who can do so. To get the chance to talk to you makes me the happiest person in the world. I really love you but I know you can't see. I need to do my homework now. I wont stop hoping baby

Hey, I love you

I miss everything. I don't get it why you're okay with everything. Manhid ka ata, Can't you see I'm dying? I'm like doing my best to keep a poker face to not lose you. I guess you love someone else now and I know i can't do anything. I just want to hold your hand, kiss you slowly and tell you that I love you. You're my everything. Its hard for me to how you could just walk away like this. I LOVE YOU FOREVER DON'T FORGET THAT. I wont stop hoping

hi

I really miss you :( I suddenly miss everything. #iwontstophoping. I love you

Thinking of you

Here comes the feelings again, I am suddenly missing you. The usual, we haven't talked for the whole day. I know you're also busy. Shit I'm just still in shock of everything. What happened scarred me for the past 5 months. I'm broken, I may not seem to be sad but when all the lights are closed, I would just cry myself to sleep. I can proudly say that I have mastered the art of hiding pain and crying quietly. I just really miss that guy for effin sake. But I can't change the things that are happening now. I want to, but I couldn't. Its just so hard trying to forget things that I got used to for 9 months and 9 days. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish i can just rewind and fix everything. If I cant only do so, until then, I wont stop hoping.

Fantasy Prayer

There was this activity called "Fantasy Prayer". Wherein I had to think of my dream vacation and a person that means a lot to me in my life. So my chosen destination was under the Eiffel Tower in Paris. While the first person who came into my mind was him. As I closed my eyes and daydreamed I saw everything vividly (The Eiffel Tower, the picturesque sky and him). As I walked closer to him I felt like a little girl again, thinking of him as my big teddy bear. The time I got to him face-to-face all I did was to stare at him until the time our facilitator told us to part with our loved ones. Before I left, he gave me this big and tight hug which made me not want to let go. But I still had to, because I had to talk to a more important person in my life-Jesus. I remembered my conversation with him so clearly. Here's what happened:

*just parted with him*

Me: What do I have to do? 

Jesus: Hope and Believe

Me: Wha-a-t I-ii-f...

Jesus: You have to be there for him ALWAYS.

After my short conversation with Jesus, I had to open my eyes to reality. But it made me want to believe more, It made me want to hope. Ever since that conversation, I was there for him, I never left his side because I know I couldn't. He just means everything to me. I love you, don't forget that B. 

I wont stop hoping.

Here I go again

Is it that hard to forget somebody you really love? Cuz for me it is. Its been about, 4 months, 23 days, 1 hour, forty five minutes and 46 seconds ever since he left. Why am I that broken? Why can't I move on? Whats wrong with me. Ughhh I really love that guy. But I have to accept that the old person I knew wont be coming back. Everyday I would just reminisce those moments and just slap myself in the face to wake up to reality.- That he's gone, and all I'm left with is regrets. Still,I like the fact that we're really good friends, but I just really miss having him around all the time. I would often just cry it all out before I go to bed (that explains my eye bags). Even making this post is bringing me to tears. It hurts when the person you love so much is in front of you, but you can't do anything at all. You have to hide all the pain and put up the prettiest smile as possible. I wanna give up on hoping, but something is stopping me. I don't know what it is but I just can't give up, because I guess its really worth all the pain. So to sum it all up, I still wont stop hoping.

Since You've Been Gone

Its been almost 5 months ever since all the heartache started. But why is it that the pain is still here? Why is it just so hard to forget him? -- Recently, we had a very short meet up which made me break down. Then when I went down his car and turned around I couldn't help but cry. Why? Its because I saw the person I really love so much was in front me, but I couldn't do anything. He'll never know how much he means to me, He'll never know how much I love him. "It's hard to wait for something you know might never happen but it's harder to give up when you know its everything you want." I cried almost every single day in 2012, spent almost all my 11:11 wishes for him and I never fail to pray for him. This is how much I love him. But I guess its better that we are like this for a while. I really love AGHNF  but until then, I won't stop hoping.