Thinking of you

Here comes the feelings again, I am suddenly missing you. The usual, we haven't talked for the whole day. I know you're also busy. Shit I'm just still in shock of everything. What happened scarred me for the past 5 months. I'm broken, I may not seem to be sad but when all the lights are closed, I would just cry myself to sleep. I can proudly say that I have mastered the art of hiding pain and crying quietly. I just really miss that guy for effin sake. But I can't change the things that are happening now. I want to, but I couldn't. Its just so hard trying to forget things that I got used to for 9 months and 9 days. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish i can just rewind and fix everything. If I cant only do so, until then, I wont stop hoping.