Here I go again

Is it that hard to forget somebody you really love? Cuz for me it is. Its been about, 4 months, 23 days, 1 hour, forty five minutes and 46 seconds ever since he left. Why am I that broken? Why can't I move on? Whats wrong with me. Ughhh I really love that guy. But I have to accept that the old person I knew wont be coming back. Everyday I would just reminisce those moments and just slap myself in the face to wake up to reality.- That he's gone, and all I'm left with is regrets. Still,I like the fact that we're really good friends, but I just really miss having him around all the time. I would often just cry it all out before I go to bed (that explains my eye bags). Even making this post is bringing me to tears. It hurts when the person you love so much is in front of you, but you can't do anything at all. You have to hide all the pain and put up the prettiest smile as possible. I wanna give up on hoping, but something is stopping me. I don't know what it is but I just can't give up, because I guess its really worth all the pain. So to sum it all up, I still wont stop hoping.